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Friday, September 5, 2008

Late night introspection

Hey friends, do not read this posting. You would get damn bored - frank disclosure from my end. Still if you wanna go ahead, come with me to the dungeons of darkness. Let me tell you, I am very frustrated. Hey, wait wait ! Don't raise your eyebrows ! Nobody is happy here ! And don't think even I am...
Reasons are best left in closets.
Now, why did I start this post? See, what I feel, each and every individual is sent by almighty to carry out specific tasks. Some are there for doing research stuffs and works and they are remembered forever. There are others who get on with their mundane life and one day they find their top floor is painted grey by nature. (I believe I am one of them). There are others who believe dharnas and strikes would see them in heaven. Still there are hundreds of thousands of varieties, who do something or the other, and if you follow closely you will find there is a specific pattern in which each and every individual can be grouped into.
So, my question is: Why was I sent here? I thought a lot and found out, apart from supporting my ailing parents and working hard to keep my kitchen burners on, I am not doing much ! Each morning I follow a schedule and it leaves me drained at the end of the day. At times, I feel so bad but there's no escape from this routine. I am trapped in a worldly web. And apart from this, nowadays I enjoy teaching people good amount of lessons, as if that is what I have been sent for. But why should I? I am not perfect. In fact, nobody is ! But still, being a libran I always tend to field for impartiality, for justice. And believe me, there are very few people who like me nowadays. I had read somewhere, "Criticising never helps". Very true. But how do I resist the urge? Fire extinguishers are only used when your back catches fire and even then, if you don't use it, then you are in for trouble. :)
Then again, love eludes me. Time and time again, I fall for a wrong person. Hey, don't think I am a casanova. Because of my gestures, many people have started having that notion. But thats utterly bogus. Rather I am very introvert. People know me through ages, but if you ask any of them about who is my latest crush, they have no clue ! Thats very very private ! But of late I have started feeling that love doesn't exist. Everything is so material, so superficial. Its all about adjustment.
Of late I tend to notice young lovers on the streets and have found quite a few varieties, about which I am currently carrying out a research [:P] and would publish my work in this blog only.

I would stop here... I have written a lot...

Wait... I hear something... It has started to drizzle outside... the sweet serenade of water droplets pouring, so soothing for the soul. I see the clock. Its 3 AM sharp. I need to get on with the morning chores again tomorrow.

But believe me, all this crap helped me a lot. I was very frustrated today and this just provided a vent to free my thoughts, which may be meaningless, but may be not !


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