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Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Happy Friendship Day

I woke up today and was greeted with a WhatsApp notification. I thought it was Sunday morning and it took a bit of time for me to open up my eyes. With half closed eyes, I unlocked my phone and checked the detail of the notification.

I was greeted with a friend's message - "Happy Friendship Day!"

Throughout the day on numerous channels like Facebook, Twitter, blogs - you name it, this message trended. In fact I checked Indiblogger a while back and saw this message trending as well.

Then I thought where did it generate. We all know about Valentine's Day. But friendship day! Since when and why?

As per information available here and here, the tradition of dedicating a day in honor of friends began in US in 1935. The International Friendship Day was first proclaimed on July 30 in 1958. Today in several countries including the United States and India, the first Sunday of August is selected for friendship day festivities.

But the idea was proposed even earlier than that.


Courtesy: Wikipedia
According to documentation available, Joyce C.Hall, the founder of Hallmark Cards first proposed the idea of celebrating friendship day. He intended August 2 to be celebrated world over amidst festivities and it is hardly surprising that the idea met with resistance specifically because, it was perceived as a commercial gimmick to promote greeting cards, in those days. 


The life of Mr. Hall was pretty inspiring. You may like reading it here.

Although I did not find an older documented chronicle on the advent of friendship day, the history of friendship is arguably as old as the history of civilization. Human beings have forever celebrated friendship in as many ways as we could imagine.

In the age of social networking, a person can have a thousand friends and sometimes even more. However, it conflicts with the theory of Dunbar's number. The number proclaims a cognitive limit of the number of friends a human being can have stable relationship with. As per research conducted by Mr. Dunbar, 150 is the number.


Facebook today threatens this number - at least we think so! Mr Dunbar himself realized this and in 2010 did a study on Facebook.

Here is what Mr Dunbar had to say:
The interesting thing is that you can have 1,500 friends, but when you actually look at traffic on sites, you see people maintain the same inner circle of around 150 people that we observe in the real world. People obviously like the kudos of having hundreds of friends but the reality is that they're unlikely to be bigger than anyone else's. 

Now, this is something each of us can realize and probably tell how much of it is true. But the question remains, commodification of friendship wherein we send greeting cards and call people reminding them of the special day is probably fine. However, if we go beyond and flaunt number of contacts on a social networking site branding all of them as friends, does it align with our basic human abilities? We do not know. Getting a like or a positive comment does add a feel good factor to our psyche and it does provide impetus to our brain's reward center. But does that classify the actions as borne out of friendship? Does it always do that?

That's a question, that I leave to you readers to ponder upon.

I'll close this with this lovely quote by Edgar A Guest.

"I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me. I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way."

Happy friendship day!


Thursday, November 5, 2009

A wish



I give you a wish tonight
Close your eyes
Immerse yourself in peace
And make a wish
Think whatever you wish will come true
No matter how many obstacles come in the way
No matter how much pain
It will come true...
And then take a deep breath
Think of all the good things that you have ever done
Forgive those who were not good to you
Forgive yourself for those who were dealt with severely
Shed a drop of tear or two for the ones whom who lost
Make a prayer to have them live happily ever after
Now open you eyes
See the world
Feel how beautiful it is
Every creature on this earth...
What did you do today to put a smile on a stranger's face?
...to make him happy?
Its not yet late
Stand up oh lazy bloke.
Get out of the blocks and stretch yourself
Do what you have never done before..
Surprise yourself by how much you can achieve..
Be positive
Think positive
Life is short..
So make the most while it lasts..
Amen..



Image source: http://media.photobucket.com

Sunday, August 2, 2009

What is Friendship?


Back from an intermittent exile, here I am. First of all, let me wish all you readers out there a very happy friendship day. No matter which part of the world you belong to, today is the day to glorify friendship! If everyone could have regarded everyone as friends, the world would have been a different place to live in - no quarrels, no fights, no wars, no bloodshed... think about it!
That has been my dream for so long now, and yet to be realized and I am not sure, if ever that will be realized. *sigh*

Never mind , I thought what constitutes friendship. Is it about mutual trust and respect? Is it about alliance? partnership? In a recent study on friends and best friends, this is what Professor Kuezban had to say with respect to the newly coined Alliance Hypothesis for Human Friendship


"Friendships are about alliances. We live in a world where conflict can arise and allies must be in position beforehand. This new hypothesis takes into account how we value those alliances. In a way, one of the main predictors of friendship is the value of the alliance. The value of an ally, or friend, drops with every additional alliance they must make, so the best alliance is one in which your ally ranks you above everyone else as well."

The study also revealed that our mind subconsciously reads what our prospective partner (read friend) thinks about us. So, if we consider someone as our best friend, inherently we want to know if it is the other way round. So, a sort of mutual alliance is set up.

As per wikipedia, there are so many dimensions of friendships today, some of which are:
  • Soulmate - This is the ultimate form. Soulmates, sort of, die for each other. The ideal friendship - rarely found these days. Tell me people, do you have a friend who could die for you (I am not talking about love), or you could die for him(or her).
  • Penpal - You write to me, I shall write to you. We will exchange ideas and thus, we will know each other better and gather knowledge. Remember the days of postcards and inland letters? ...and of newspaper advertisements asking for penfriends (or penpals) [in the pre-internet boom era]? Why- even the day before, I came across a newspaper advertisement looking for penfriends, so it is very much there today.
  • Internet friendship - This is very much in place today. With hundreds of social networking sites, keeping in touch is really easy notwithstanding which part of the earth you belong to - only condition is you should have access to the internet. Some of the most popular networking sites today are Orkut, Facebook, Twitter, Zorpia, Fropper, Ning and Linkedin.
  • Comrade - This is a term very much use by the leftists in West Bengal when they refer to fellow political party workers. Mainly used to denote an ally, someone with a similar objective. Also used in military to denote team spirit and high esteem.
  • Casual relationship - This is considered to be a fling in the US. No expectations from either party - just for the sake of having a 'good time', whatever that means!
  • Boston marriage - Same as the legalization of Indian Penal Code 377। Do I need to say more?
  • Blood brother - Denotes blood relationships, , 'खून का रिश्ता' (in Hindi)
  • Open relationship - A relationship where the partners are free to choose others for fulfilment of physical desires. When this happens in marriage, it is called "Open marriage".
  • Roommate - The person who has lived with you at one point in time, generally in a hostel or a PG accommodation and do not share a family or romantic relationship.
  • Imaginary friend - General imagery created by a child when he or she considers someone as a friend - could be a living (example: a butterfly) or a non-living object (example: a doll).
  • Spiritual friendship - This refers to the kind of friendship with a higher purpose, as in Buddhist ideology. One of the friends can have more knowledge than the other and the relationship sweetens when the flow of knowledge enlightens both.
  • Inter species friendship - This is so common. Millions of us have pets in their households - be it cats, dogs, cows, goats, sheeps or something as weird as a venomous snakes! But when the creatures stay with us for a long time, a kind of friendship develops. Personally I had a cat who lived for 5 years and I loved it. We would play in the evenings and I used to be thrilled with all its antics. I am sure, many of you must have had similar experiences.
So, the word FRIENDSHIP is vast and used in a very wide range of scenarios. There are also theories that suggest factors which have an effect on friendship, some of which are:

  • Similarity - We instantaneously like people who are similar to us.
  • Proximity - "Out of sight, out of mind" is much more than a mere phrase. So, seeing each other often counts in a BIG way!
  • Reciprocity - This was discussed at the start. We tend to like people who like us and dislike those who dislike us.
  • Beauty - Looks kill. So, if you are beautiful, if you are good looking, if you are handsome, you definitely have an edge in making friends. People would fall flat to your charisma without you trying too much.
  • Competence - Last, but not the least: Nobody wants to make friends with idiots and duffers. So, if you have the skills, the competence, if you are sharp, demonstrate knowledge and intellect, there are hundreds who would be turned on!

Think about the people who are your friends (or whom you regard your friends). I am sure one or more of the above factors would be at play.

As the saying goes, "Great minds think alike", similarly, friendship develops among like minded individuals. You can probably empathize or sympathize with all. But while making friends, there would be more factors to count on. It's more than just a click on the button "Accept as a friend" on a social networking site!

Image source: http://www.quotesarcade.com/graphics/friendship