My email to Justice Verma

From: Chiranjib Mazumdar
Date: Mon, Dec 31, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Subject: Reference to public notice - suggestions on amendments to criminal laws relating to safety and security of women
To: justice.verma@nic.in


Dear sir

This is with reference to the public notice given by you on Indian newspapers "inviting suggestions on amendments to criminal laws relating to safety and security of women".

Please note that I am a simple citizen of this nation and am shocked beyond words seeing the brutal nature of the crime and the horrific after-effects. No wonder it has generated the attention, it has.

Please find below my suggestions -
1. Rape cases need to be solved decisively within a month. If needed fast track courts should be established with eminent judges and jury as panel members. Women representation is a must in the panel.
2. Simple imprisonment and fine for the culprits who are proven guilty, is not enough, simply because in India, there is a social stigma attached to a person who undergoes such trauma. Punishment should be exemplary so that it serves as a deterrent and makes prospective criminals think a thousand times before committing such crimes.
3. While I think death sentence should be the minimum punishment awarded, chemical castration may be a more apt form of punishment that would remind the criminal of the guilt for the rest of his life.
4. There should be adequate provisions to ensure that any changes in existing law are not misused and innocents do not get trapped.

5. In case of the victim's death, death penalty should be made mandatory for the culprits.

6. If juveniles are involved in the crime, they should still be treated as adults.

7. The victim's family should be provided with all support and protection as needed, to prevent them from being harassed and blackmailed.

As I mentioned earlier, I am a member of the civil society and bear no connections whatsoever to the Lawyers' association, so my suggestions may be perceived as crude, but I hope I do echo the voices of millions of Indian citizens who are equally shocked as I am, with the recent incident.

It is high time that a strong stand is taken to prevent such incidents, because, for all you know, this has brought down the reputation of India in front of the whole world. I see tourism industry clearly getting affected with the negative publicity this incident has generated.

I sincerely hope that among the millions of emails you might receive, this email does get 2 seconds of attention.


--
Best regards,
Chiranjib Mazumdar

Synthetic sperms: Future for men?

According to recent developments, scientists have claimed that synthetic sperms can be created out of male stem cells which could revolutionize the way infertility is treated nowadays.

"This is an important development as it will allow researchers to study in detail how sperm forms and lead to a better understanding of infertility in men -- why it happens and what is causing it," said professor Karim Nayernia, who spearheaded the research.

You can read the full article here. A very good breakthrough and would help people cope with male infertility much better in years to come.
But, on a different note, that just made me think, will males really be necessary 'that much'? With the landmark Delhi High Court ruling on same sex relationships and now with this new breakthrough, one just wonders, what is coming up next!

These are a few scenarios which we may see in years to come:

A female only country:
It is said that in some primitive civilizations in remote islands, there used to be only females, no male species whatsoever and those primitive women had no other way out other than satisfying their primitive needs in weird ways. In case they had access to a single male, he would be subjected to lust and greed of the extreme order.
In today's scenario, this could apply to lesbians, who can very well have the children of their dreams through this 'synthetic' technique, although they would require a male for the donation.
In future, due to some unknown reason, if a political heavy weight woman leader demands a separate country only for women, she could actually have it. The women there need not worry, as there would be men employed in the service, who would just work in huge scientific labs just for creating synthetic sperms and facilitating in offspring generation without the need for mating, without the need of any kind of relationship. With more and more women making a choice of being single throughout their lives, this could just be what they ever wanted. A baby without a father. Freedom from all sorts of male oppression and rule, women can finally be free.

Relevance for men?
There could be a huge question mark over the relevance of men. The way people prepare their CVs to get into top organizations, similar CVs would be created to have access to the exotic females. Mass 'campusing' would be organized and the men with the most attractive features stand to win there. The Government would be allotting special budget for 'unmarried' males, on similar lines of 'unemployed' youths. The male child would be hated in families and cases of male foeticide may occur secretly. Special rights groups would hold protests against the inhuman treatment of males and there would be classes for families on why the male child should not be ignored. In some countries, this scientific procedure would be banned and there would be threats issued against nations who go for this. In the new light of threats, the United Nations would hold special all-men sessions to try and find out how these can be handled in the best manner.

Speculations galore. But I just hope that the scientists find out something good for the men as well. I mean why are they so intent on abolishing (or rather diminishing the importance of) most of the male species from this world! LOL

Chak de ladkiyan!

I was going through this post by Preposterous Girl. Though written with a humorous touch, there is a brooding quotient to it. I suggest all you girls to go through it once. The post made me think hard, think whether the society has still matured to accept women as equals to men. Though we claim to have equal rights for men and women alike, probably there are unwritten codes of conduct for a section of the society. And we question the moral character immediately when the decorum is not maintained. I have an uncle who had once said, "I don't like women cycling to school or colleges!" I was a kid then. But still, I could not understand, why so! Even today, I don't understand, why so! For a gigantic part of the male dominated Indian society, till today, women are considered to be objects of lust! Nothing more than that! Whereas, there are no differences except for the physical makeup!

Many would probably say, they do not want their female friends, girlfriends, spouses, mothers, sisters, aunties to be attacked by miscreants and as a measure of caution, it is only fit to stay indoors and be extra cautious and conservative while outdoors. My question is: Who are we running away from? Here we need to choose between fight and flight. I choose 'fight' and why not! Running away from problems only exaggerates them.

Have you ever faced a dog? Try and run away from it. I assure that you would not be spared. Rather try and face it. There are high chances of it running away.

So, are you faced with a troublesome guy? Do you sense being ogled at?
Give a hard stare back. Smile and say, "Yes? Want to say something?" I assure that the person would keep his high-ended ambitions in check. Keep a pepper spray handy. Who knows, you may need one. And if you see nothing is working, give a hard kick on 'you-know-where'.

That should do the trick!

The Crush

The guy was standing at the entrance of the cafeteria, watching girls with rapt attention, saying to himself, "Will she come? Will she not?" But, no. She was no where to be seen. Sadly, he sat down on a nearby table. The bearer as usual arrived and asked if he required anything. He replied, "No, thanks."

PART 1

Rahul was a middle class guy studying in college. On the first day of college, he saw a wonderful girl, very different from others. Not that she was extremely good looking, but her mannerisms, the way she smiled, her nose wrinkled, her steps, everything made him go crazy about her. Sadly the girl was from a different department and so, there was less chance of them getting to know each other. However, as destiny would have it, one fine day, he got the opportunity to interact with this dream girl. It was just a coincidence. She had come to the library with one of her friends, looking for a particular book, but was unable to find it. Rahul had a glimpse of her from one end of the shelf and suddenly felt the urge to speak to her. But, being very shy, he could not gather much courage. He egged himself on and ultimately went forward and said, "Excuse me, miss, I think you are looking for this book." The girl was initially surprised, but then smiled and said "Thank you". She took the book and just walked away. Rahul was kept standing there. He understood that he had missed a golden opportunity of interacting with his dream girl. Later that day, he spoke to his room mate in his hostel about the incident. He told his friend how expressive her eyes were, the way she smiled, the way she got surprised, everything about her was so mesmerizing, so magical. His friend laughed out loud and said, "Never mind dost, you would get more opportunities, I am sure." For the next few weeks, Rahul did not see her. He wondered if something was wrong, but he was unable to find the right person to ask about her. Finally, he got to know that there had been a calamity in her family which had forced the girl to take leave.
But the pain remained, he wished he could be of some help to her at such an ill-fated moment. Finally, the wait was over. She was back. A bit tense, a bit pensive, traumatic, but nevertheless attractive as ever. Rahul thought to himself, "Today, I need to speak, no matter what the outcome would be." He approached her, "Hi, this is Rahul. We met that day in the library. Do you remember?" The girl stared at him and slowly said, "Yes, I do remember." Rahul: "So, may I know your name and are we friends?" She replied, "My name is Aindrilla, but I would need to think before accepting a stranger as my friend. Got some work. Would you mind if we talk later?" Rahul said, "Well... nope... surely, please go ahead.". The poor guy was left standing. This was not the exact start he was looking for. The girl seemed so very organized, sober and cool at her first demeanour. But is it like "What you see is NOT what you get" ? Surely, Rahul needed to investigate more. There are more shadows to a woman than one could imagine and this woman seemed no different.
Suddenly he felt a bit sad. Was it that she was not liking him, misinterpreting his overtures as something else? He did not wish to think. It also dawned on him that he had fallen hopelessly in love with her, although he did not know anything about her. She could be engaged to someone. There could be painful incidents in the prime of her life which had made her lose all interest in love and its derivatives! Oh.. he suddenly felt a bit dizzy.

PART 2

Aindrilla returned to her room after a hectic day at college. She got herself freshened up and started thinking over the day's incidents. The college was not as bad as she thought it to be. After the tragic death of her grandmother, whom she was so close to, she really looked forward to enjoying here. Afterall, she needed to divert her mind and get accustomed to the loss.
Her roomie Sandhya came and asked, "Hey tamatar, how was your day today? haan... " Aindrilla smiled at her and said, "Well, it was good yaar. Today professor Jadav gave a wonderful lecture on Particle Dynamics. He was so fast, I had to literally use shorthand to take down the notes. Even the lab sessions were nice. I have started liking the place, yaar."
Sandhya chuckled and asked,"What about the guys, sweetheart? Did you find anyone worth a second glance?"
Aindrilla: "Tu bhi yaar... I haven't had that much interaction with anyone till now, but most of them seem okay. Few of them are flirts like anything. Ladki dekhi nahi ki shuru... Arey, today I met a guy... My goodness me! I saw him once in the library. He had helped me out with finding a book and now, he wants friendship. Ufff... What a flirt!" Sandhya: "Come on yaar, did you ask his name?"
Aindrilla: "Who cares yaar? I have seen hundreds like that. I stopped short of giving him a piece of my mind today. Next day, I won't spare him, if he approaches again."
Sandhya: "Peculiar dear? What happened? Did he misbehave?"
Aindrilla: "Nahi nahi, not like that. He seemed friendly, but sooner or later, he would come to the same topic as any other flirt. I am sure."
Sandhya: "Come on yaar, don't be a spoilsport. If he wants friendship, what is the harm in it, yaar. See I am engaged to Suraj for five long years and what a sweetheart he is!"
Aindrilla suddenly lay flat on her bed, staring straight at the ceiling: "Hey Sandi! I don't think like that! My darling would be a handsome prince, he would be wealthy, powerful and sexy. I would fall head over heels over him at first glance. The boys out here do not fire my imagination. These are just timepasses. And I hate guys who are only too eager to get hold of a girl. These kinda guys are never reliable. Hopefully your Suraj is not like that."
Sandhya: "Aha.. is it like that? ok... we'll see dear... I have seen many instances of girls as stern and robust as you are, who have melted like ice and crumbled like a pack of cards, when they have fallen in love."
Aindrilla: "Ok... take it as a challenge!"

PART 3

The next few days Rahul thought a lot about the mysterious girl. He suddenly found out that out of 24 hours a day, he would spend 12 hours thinking about her alone. It was having serious implications on his studies as well, as he was not able to concentrate on tasks at hand. His roomie noticed this and told him that he should make friends with someone who knows the girl well, else, it would be difficult to coaxe the girl into meeting him. Rahul thought for a moment and said, "Yes yaar, I have seen a girl with her often. She is very friendly and seem very close to her. Lets see, if I can have a chat with her." The next day only, Rahul saw Aindrilla's close friend.Without the slightest hesitation, he approached. Rahul: "Excuse me..." Sandhya: "Yes, wanna say something to me?" Rahul: "Yeah.. well actually I am from the same year as you. Mechanics department. Can we be friends?" Sandhya smiled and said: "Hey nice to meet you. This is Sandhya and am from the Civil department." Rahul: "Thanks Sandhya... So you are alone today? Where is your friend?" Sandhya:"Who? Aindrilla? Oh she would be coming late. Well do you know her?" Rahul had his heart in his mouth for a moment but he tried to remain composed and answered as coolly as possible. "Oh... no no... that was a casual question. I often see both of you together. So asked about her..." Sandhya: "Ok..." She suddenly glanced at her watch and said, "Oops. I am already late for my class. Cya sometime later. Ok?" Rahul: "Sure"

Rahul thought that the drama had gone as he had wanted.

Sandhya hurried on for the class. As usual she was again late. The professor had started teaching in full swing. Once Sandhya reached, the professor gave her a stern look and glanced at his watch. Aindrilla had in fact reached before her although she was supposed to come late. After the class Aindrilla giggled at Sandhya and said, "Well Sandi, you have made quite a name for yourself as Late Latif. Koi appointment thaa kya?" Sandhya: "Don't ask yaar. I met a guy.... oh what was his name? umm... yeah, Rahul and forgot that I had this class. Arey you know he was asking about you... !!!" Aindrilla: "What? me? I mean, why? I don't think I remember anyone by that name!!!" Sandhya: "Oh no no... he also said he doesn't know you and he just asked since he had got used to seeing both of us together and as you know sweetheart, you were not there today!"

Aindrilla thought for a moment, "Tell me how he looks." Sandhya: "Uff.. I can't describe him like that. Lets go to the canteen and if I see him, I will have both of you introduced to each other. Ok?" Aindrilla: "Hmm... Sandi, don't say you are upto something. Am not falling or it, ok?" Sandhya: "Arrey no yaar. You asked about him. That's why I said. Ok? Even if you get introduced to him, what's the harm?" Aindrilla: "ok ok... You are much superior when it comes to arguing, first God and second you... I agree.." Both of them walked off from the classroom and saw Rahul standing at the entrance of the canteen. Sandhya walked in front of him and said: "Hey Rahul, this is my friend, Aindrilla. Aindrilla, meet Rahul." Aindrilla: "Hello... but I think we know each other, right?" Rahul: "Yeah.. " Sandhya: "But Rahul, you said you do not know her?" Rahul was in a soup now. Somehow he muttered," Well, she did not accept me as a friend, so how could I say, I know her. Besides, it is a fact since I know nothing about her except her name!" and tried to smile... Aindrilla: "Rahul, for you my name is enough. Okay? Sandi I think I am getting late and have some more important works at hand. Do you mind, if I leave." Sandhya: "Hey, wait. I'll also go. Sorry Rahul. I'll talk to you later." Rahul was left stranded where he was. For the first time he felt an adrenaline rush. He was getting angry. What the hell did the girl think of herself! Was she a princess or what? And how dare she insult him like that! And he did not think he had said or done something derogatory to her dignity. Something was wrong definitely but what was it?
Aindrilla hurried on to her hostel room. Sandhya went after her and got hold of her. "What is wrong with you tamatar? Why did you behave like that? I don't think the guy said or did something so as to hurt you! Then? Look at me. Tell me, what is wrong!" Aindrilla looked at her. And then, Sandhya could not believe what she saw, her friend's beautiful eyes were aflush with tears. Sandhya: "You? Crying? Why?" Aindrilla suddenly put her arms round Sandhya and continued to sob hugging her Sandi as tightly as ever...
PART 4

Rahul could not have as much as a wink of sleep that night. He thought about the incidents the day before. His Roomie asked him numerous times about it, but to no avail. He kept mum the whole evening and then at night as well. As the hours passed by, anger gave way to sadness, melancholy. It always happened like that. Whenever he happened to like or love someone,
invariably they would get snatched away from him by the cruel scheme of destiny. He remembered he had a cute kitten who would play with him day in and day out and one day she was gone forever, never ever to return again. He was very close to his grandmother as well and she too left for her heavenly abode. He had fallen hopelessly in love with this girl, but her
reactions hurt him. How could she be so heartless? [sigh] There was nothing he could do. He needed to move on, look for greener pastures. But what is the guarantee that the same story would not get repeated! Oops! No! He was losing his self confidence. Shit yaar! How could he! Forget it! Everything would be normal again. The show must go on!
He felt a bit rejuvinated and set out for the college after hurrying through the morning chores. After a long time, he attended all the lectures, answered tough questions posed by the professors, tried to concentrate on studies more than ever before and also found out that Einstein's theory was not as difficult as he had thought before! His bosom friends were pleasantly surprised. After a tiring day, he was ready to go home. And just when he was at the exit, he saw her... Sandhya... He did not feel an urge to speak to her! "Girls are all the same", he thought. But he could not avoid. Sandhya stopped him on his way and said,"Hey Rahul, I am very sorry for whatever happened yesterday. Please do not get her wrong. She is very depressed." Rahul did not utter a word for a moment or two.
Finally he said,"So?"
Sandhya: "Lets see dear. First tell me, are you serious?"
He silently nodded his head in affirmation.
Sandi: "umm... ok, let me see what can be done... bye"
Sandhya silently walked off. She was still thinking about the incidents last night. Aindrilla had cried and cried. Sandi could finally steady her and asked her,"Tell me what is it! And do not cry! Else I will give you a tight slap! Look at me."
Aindrilla had then narrated what she had gone through in her past, how she had loved someone with her everything, how she had been ditched and humiliated, how her love had walked off with another bitch! It was pathetic! She had lost all her trust on men. She had come to realise that whatever men looked for in a woman was not love, she shuddered to think what it was! Her
beliefs had only been strengthened by the growing number of incidents of a variety of physical and mental harassment that women faced regularly in their day to day life. She hated men! Yes! She hated men! Sandi let out a silent sigh. The task was extremely tough for her and more so, for Rahul to win her love. What was the way out? She would speak to her today. Yesterday, she had been too traumatised to even utter a single word. Finally she reached her door and found it locked from inside. Aindrilla had not gone to classes. The whole day, she had kept
herself locked inside. Sandi knocked on the door. One, two, three, four... After four knocks, the door opened.
Sandi: "Hey hi tamatar! What did you do the whole day?"
Aindrilla: "Nothing jaan... just slept through.."
"Yeah yeah that is evident from your swollen eyes. By the way, it was good that you blurted everything out yesterday. See you must be feeling lighter now."
"Ya.. true Sandi... "
"Hey you know, I met Rahul today! You won't believe, he seemed so sad!"
"hmm..."
"I tell you one thing tamatar, the guy is not bad! Why don't you meet him once and get to know him in person..."
"I have told you everything jaan... Why do you insist? IT WOULD SIMPLY NOT HAPPEN!!! I don't have a heart any more"
"Arre... be friends with him. Speak to him. He is not gonna bite you, is he? So what's the problem?"
"Hmm... I'll think about it. Lets have something to eat now. I feel hungry..."
"Arre thik hai yaar... come to the kitchen... lets make parathas and gobi ke sabji..." :-P
"Yeah... would like that very much jaan..."
They had a nice time out in the evening making parathas and savouring on them later on...

PART 5:

Rahul felt a tad happier. Will Sandi be able to do some trick? Hmm... who knows! She was Aindrilla's best friend and roomie as well. She might be able to convince her. He slept in peace that night. At night he dreamt that he was cycling down a certain highway in the fog. There was a river flowing beside with a sweet sound of flowing water. The birds were chirping merrily. The weather was chilly. And as he was cruising along the highway, a red scarf caught her attention. It was entangled in a branch of a tree. The scarf appeared somewhat known to him. Yes, it was Aindrilla's. But where was she? Oh there she was! As stunning as ever. Standing at a distance. Eyes closed, as if feeling the cold air. Her long hair swaying gently in the breeze. Her hands outstretched, as she tried to feel it with her soul and mind. Rahul was left stranded. He
forgot where he had to go, who he was... rather he wanted to forget everything. He wanted to live in the moment. Just then he felt rain drops on his body. Ooooh! So cold! He needed shelter! But where is she? Did she take shelter somewhere else? And his cycle! Oh God! And then he saw his roomie!
"Get up Shahenshah Akbar! I am ready for classes already and it's 9:30 AM."
Rahul woke up with a start. Shit. He was dreaming again! He hurried up and was just in time for the classes. On the way, he saw both of them together again. It seemed Aindrilla gave her more than a passing glance. And did she smile? Oh no no! Figment of fertile imagination! He needed to concentrate on studies! Later on, he would speak to Sandhya.


PART 6:

The professors gave their lectures one after the another. Little went inside Rahul's head. The more he tried to forget about the morning's encounter, the more he felt restless. At the recess, he got in touch with Sandi, when Aindrilla was not with her.
Rahul: "Hi Sandi"
Sandhya: "Hi Rahul"
"Any updates?"
" [smile] You are so impatient! Wait dear. I have spoken to her. She has not agreed yet. But, I shall be able to coaxe her into meeting you in person, I assure. But..."
"But? What?"
"But, promise me, if she really falls for you, you would not ditch her. Promise?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Ok... gotta go now. I would let you know of any updates."
"Can I have her cell number?"
"No. She is not ready yet. When, it's time, you would have it. Okay? Bye."
Saying so, she hurried away.
Rahul wondered whether there was light at the end of the dark tunnel. Well, it was difficult to guess the temperament of girls. They hardly meant whatever they said. At least that had been his experience till then. Slowly he walked off to his classroom.
After the classes were over, Aindrilla and Sandhya went off to their hostel. After relaxing a bit, both of them started chatting about the day's incidents. Finally, Sandi said:
"Did you give a thought?"
"A thought... !!! to what?"
"About the guy... Rahul.."
"Why do you insist jaan?"
"Aindrilla, he is very serious about it. At least meet him once. If you happen to not like him, you can always reject. But at least see him once."
"[sigh] Okay. Fix a date."
"Oh great. Tamatar! muaah! Let me talk to Rahul and we'll fix an appointment for you."

PART 7:

Finally the date was fixed. It had to be the cafetaria at the end of the Fancy Market Road. Sunday evening.


Rahul was standing at the entrance of the cafeteria, watching girls with rapt attention, saying to himself, "Will she come? Will she not?" But, no. She was no where to be seen. Sadly, he sat down on a nearby table. The bearer as usual arrived and asked if he required anything. He replied, "No, thanks."


He could not figure the issue. Sandy had called him and spoken clearly about it. It was fixed well in advance. Then? Aindrilla was supposed to come at 5 pm and it was 5:30 pm already. As Rahul grew restless, he decided to call up Sandy and just when Sandy's cell started ringing, he saw her... "Wow", he thought. Clad in a white kurti, she looked like an angel. For a moment or two, Rahul could not speak.

Aindrilla: "Helloooo!!!!" [as if to break his day dream]

Rahul: "Oh.. am so sorry... well, please be seated. So, hopefully you did not have much trouble coming here. Did you?"

"No"

"So, are we friends now?"

"Hmm, yes, why not!"

"Thanks, you know what Aindrilla, I had been waiting for this day since ages. And today you are in front of me."

"Hello! Don't start getting ideas. Ok? The fact that I have come to meet you doesn't necessarily imply that I have fallen for you or something like that! Yes, ok, we are friends. But as of this moment, nothing more than that.."

Rahul smiled and said,"Will you have some water? You spoke non-stop.."

"No. Thanks."


"Will you have something? Coffee or icecream or drinks? I know you would say "no", still...."

Rahul called up the bearer and ordered two chilled coffee and they started chit chatting about this and that. He cautiously cut out the 'romance' part and rather concentrated on general mundane topics that he would occasionally discuss with friends. Finally, Aindrilla had a glance at her watch and declared she needed to leave, since it was already 7:00 pm by then.

Rahul asked,"Ok. Lets move. So, did you like meeting me today?"

"Means?"

"Oh I mean, hopefully you enjoyed hanging out with me today."

"Yes. It was fun." Aindrilla smiled.

"Hey thanks! So will we meet again, soon? Next week? Same time, same place?"

"Ok"
And thus, they continued meeting each other on weekends and chatted for hours. But Rahul had a jinx... a confusion. He was wondering where his one way crush was headed. Since, Aindrilla had already made her intentions clear (about continuing only as friends), he had failed to raise the issue again. He was afraid that their weekend rendezvous would end if he pressed the panic button. Will Sandy be able to help? No. Sandy was no more interested. She made it clear the other day that her task was to get the two of them to meet up. Ater that she would leave the scene. She had done exactly that. *sigh*

But, there was more drama waiting. One fine evening Rahul saw Aindrilla holding hands with a stranger and sharing the same ice cream. He could not bear the sight and decided to call up Aindrilla immediately. He made his concern very clear. But she said,"Did I not tell you? We are just friends. Ok? And who are you to keep a watch on me? Its entirely upto me. Whom I would meet or hang out with is none of your business. Is that clear?"

Rahul could not reply back. He just hung up the phone. He felt a choking sensation in his throat. Finally, the one way traffic had come to a "dead end". The crush had been crushed oh so cruelly! He deleted Aindrilla's and Sandy's numbers from his cell. As his family was slotted for a transfer, he decided to change his college. Never ever did he call Aindrilla again. Never ever did they meet again.
.
.


Today after 10 years, Rahul is well settled in another city. But still... he thinks if it would have been appropriate for them to continue as friends. But then, he had chosen to die rather than live on a life support system........

And what happens can never be reverted back. No regrets. No sadness. Life has moved on. Life has to move on. But hey, what is this drop on his lap? A stray tear ...running down his cheeks?




~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~

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Image source: http://www.headinjurytheater.com
Disclaimer: The story depicted here is entirely fictitous. The plot is imaginary. Any resemblance to an incident or a person living or dead is purely coincidental.
Copyright: Chiranjib Mazumdar, 2009

Hush hush

Do you use a chat client in your office? Yes, I mean for official communications? I hope many of you do, right? Now, have you thought how much of it is really productive?
Let me tell you a story. There were two individuals - X and Y. X is female and Y is male. Suddenly it became evident to us all that there was something cooking among the two. Both are colleagues. So I thought, let me sort this out! So I decided to talk to them and X, out of sheer shyness, denied the allegations. In given circumstances, Y also backtracked. The case, I thought, was closed. But, somehow my highly intelligent brain (next only to err... Holmes) could not digest it!

So I decided to keep a watch on both of them. No communication whatsoever! Whatever little, was purely official! So I thought, well well... may be... may be not...
And then what I found out was:
Every day, from dawn to dusk these people would chat on the chat client although they sat next to each other! Can you believe it? Somehow they feel we are all idiots and nothing would be evident!

Now this is what they would typically call "Love for technology" and I would call "Technology for love" ! LOL


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Image source: http://www.eycbrant.ca

Dreaming of you

I dream of you, oh sweetheart!
Every night you come to my dreams,
Weave an aura of mist around my very eyes
Help me go to sleep
Help me relax and silently weep
It seems as if you were with me all throughout
As a friend, as a companion, as a sweetheart
I feel a soft touch on my forehead
A touch that I had craved for so long
A touch of care, of love...
I forget that I have not seen you for so many years
You have hidden beyond the curtains
You have moved into oblivion
But now that you are with me
I won't let you go
Stay with me forever and ever and ever...
But as time flies
As I open my eyes
I realize...
You are nowhere
I search for you frantically
But you are gone, gone forever
I remember, you had said, "Its all over...."
Yeah its all over...
But in dreams? Why are you still in there?

What women really want?

Hey all you readers out there! Do you have any idea what women really want out of men? What are their expectations? How to convince them that really there is no bad intention? [not considering cases where men have images like Mogambo]
If you really care for them, they would say,"Why are you bothered?"
If you do not care, they would say,"What a haughty guy! What does he think he is!"
If you want friendship, they would think, 'oh! what a flirt!'
If you do not want friendship, they would think, 'am I not worth of a second look?' [expect tears]
You would think she likes you, but if you go up and propose, expect an answer like, "My God... How did you ever think like that? No, please, this is just not happening" or, "The answer is a straight NO" or, "I have told you before as well, why don't you understand?".
If you do not, she would stare at you in such an innocent manner as if you have committed a sin. Afterall, as one famous lady once commented, "The guys should advance first!"
And rejection is a piece of cake! A secret competition is going on...
Sarita: Hey Anu, how many have you rejected?
Anu: [with an air of superiority] 23
Sarita: Oops! then I have some catch up to do, jaan... last week I rejected one, thus my total is 19
Hmm.... and who are the victims? Ask that boy sitting silently in the dark corner of the park. If you notice closely, he might still be thinking what went wrong! What were his mistakes! And if there was a way to rectify! And then he finds out his ex-flame walking hand in hand with her new found crush! Amazing... isn't it? You girls simply rock!!!

PS. Girls who are reading this post might argue, but statistics won't support you. I can quote the author of a book on relationships, who says, most of the time girls are responsible for break-ups, not boys!

Love actually?

Few hard truths about love:

Love rarely exists, whatever it is, is mostly attraction, adjustment! The person's background and family always plays a pivotal role while being selected or... whatever...

The choice of a person is affected by the primitive mating behavior. If we study the mating behavior of animals, then we would see, when they select potential partners, it is most essentially unconsciously based on the other's superiority in some form or the other. The mind is trained in that manner. Say, in many species of wild animals, the males have to fight fiercely for a single female and she selects the one who wins! It has a scientific basis as well, since she wants her offsprings to be healthy, thus avoiding a weak male. Clearly, selection based on superiority! In human beings also, the same type of behaviour is observed. If we start liking someone, believe me, there is something in him/her that others lack, clearly a selection based on his/her superiority (over others)! Human society is evolved over millions of years, though males do not have to literally fight nowadays to win over a female, but the rules of the game are unchanged and do not vary markedly from other species. Another striking feature is, this trait of selection is particularly more prominent in girls than boys.So next time you get to hear stuffs like: "It was love at first sight", think about it!

It is very true that our brain is able to process an individuality of a person in the first two minutes of meeting each other. The body language gives in, and 80% of the notion is created then and there. The rest 20% notion is made or altered in subsequent meetings. But it is never Bollywood styled "pehli nazar mein..." love!
You might argue, "So what about the people who have been living happily for 20 odd years?"

My answer would be, "Yes, affecton develops over a time period. It does not happen overnight. What is being discussed here is love 'as we know it today'. A 'Harry met Sally' sort of affair!"

In a deeper context, love is a strong affection for someone, which is experienced and which is not bound by limitations of age, caste, creed, status, background, looks, wealth or whatever. But you see, it is non-existent in today's socio-cultural scenario. What we often think mistakenly as love is actually a liking, a crush and that too with a "conditions apply" tag!

PS. I am sure that I have already spurred a heated debate among people about what I have said, but these are my views based on experience as well as what I have studied till now on human behaviour and psychology. Any and every views are welcome!

7 Signs your honey may cheat ! (By Gilda Carle, Ph.D.)

This article was forwarded to me by Abhijit Ghosh and is authored by Gilda Carle. This is an exceptional article no doubt !


7 signs your honey may cheat

By Gilda Carle, Ph.D. Most of us — even the not-so-jealous types — know that feeling of, "Is my sweetheart really working late… or could this person be two-timing me?" I've counseled many individuals dealing with this concern, so let me share my knowledge with you about the signs that someone is cheating (or seriously contemplating it). Use this information and insight—and either stop worrying or have a serious talk with your partner!

Sign #1: Your sweetie keeps you a secret from his/her family & friends
Cheaters keep you in the dark while they play in the light. Your relationship won't work if you're getting what I call the Shadow Treatment. The Shadow Treatment means that you are often kept waiting in the wings while your mate is out socializing. Think about it: Are there gatherings of friends, family reunions or workplace parties that you are not invited to? Do you only meet some of your honey's network of friends? If you are kept on the sidelines, there's probably a good reason. Maybe your sweetie is on the prowl for someone else. Or perhaps there is already someone else and so your role in his or her life can't be made public. Anytime you are kept on the fringes once you believe you are an exclusive couple, be suspicious. And know that the only way to end Shadow Treatment is to stop accepting it. Once you challenge it, you will either be fully accepted in your sweetheart's life… or know it's time to leave.

Sign #2: Your sweetie is emotionally absent
Cheaters conceal their emotional whereabouts so they can be evasive about their physical whereabouts. Love is exhausting when you have to pry the truth out of a partner.

Consider this story: After enjoying a platonic friendship for a decade, Margaret and Roy began dating. Roy was a traveling sales manager. While he was on the road, Margaret heard from him only occasionally. But he continued to say he wanted to spend more time with her—which he never did. Margaret was obviously a low priority for him. She was shocked to learn he had another girlfriend across the country.

An emotionally absent partner may say what you want to hear, but will not change his or her actions—unless he or she wants to. Saying the right thing and doing the right thing are very different. If your honey talks a good game about spending more time with you and paying more attention to you but never delivers—look out! This person may be juggling multiple relationships.

Sign #3: Your sweetie says he or she wants a no-strings-attached romance
If someone says, "I don't want a commitment," take the sucker at his or her word. Don't fall into that "I'll be the one to change all that!" trap. Cheaters rebel against control and might even have an affair to spite a partner who wants to rein him or her in.

Too often, people ignore the clear message a potential date sends. If someone tells you, "I'm not into serious relationships," "I won't give up my freedom," "I'm not ready to settle down," or anything resembling that, take a giant step back! He or she is clearly telling you, "I want to play the field." If you pursue the person anyway, hoping for an exclusive relationship, you may find yourself two-timed and broken-hearted. Never push a person into a situation he or she doesn't want to be in. Never pursue a committed relationship with someone who tells you he or she doesn't want one.

Sign # 4: Your sweetie admits to cheating on exes—and justifies the betrayals
Cheaters rationalize their behavior to let themselves off the hook. The way they justify their actions tells much about their character.

Listen to the excuses for past cheating your sweetie uses. Here are a couple I've heard from clients in my therapy practice over the years:

• "My ex was abusive because of a drinking problem, so I deserved to see someone kinder on the side."
  
• "My father cheated on my mom, so cheating on my girlfriend is how I'm working through my past."

Everyone has a tale to tell. But are these rationalizations — or any rationalizations — acceptable to you? A person who admits to infidelities in the past and explains them away has a good chance of straying again. He or she has not taken responsibility for past actions, nor worked through the issues involved.

Sign #5: Your sweetie has never been without a mate
Cheaters won't ride solo... ever! Leaving one romance and hopping into a new one — or having simultaneous affairs at once — doesn't leave time for assessing whatever went wrong. They don't bother with introspection; their focus is squarely set on pulling new people into their orbit. If you are dating a person who shares a romantic history that always involves finding a new partner before breaking up with the current partner, take heed. This person may think of his or her mate only as void-fillers. Filling a void is never a basis for lasting love.

Sign #6: Your sweetie tells lies about little things
Cheaters lie about everything, which leads you to question their truth from their fiction. When the need to embroider overshadows the desire to be honest, the relationship becomes a sham.

Craig's friend set him up on a blind date with divorcée, Alice, who was a top attorney in town with no children. Each time they were together, Alice described her interesting caseload. Craig was fascinated—and falling hard. He was so caught up in her charismatic personality that he chose not to focus on the fact that some of her stories contradicted themselves, and that Alice seemed to change certain details as she got further into her story sharing. One day, the local newspaper featured someone who had been indicted for impersonating an attorney. He was shocked to find that it was Alice, and that she was a wife and mother as well! Alice had lied to both Craig and his friend.

If you are dating someone who seems to be untruthful about mundane topics — where he or she had lunch, what he or she is doing on Sunday morning — take note. The lies probably run deep. As my Gilda-Gram warns, "Without truth, there is no love."

Sign # 7: Your sweetie brags about his or her sex appeal
Cheaters are insecure, and need to attract constant attention on the side. They flaunt their popularity in attempts to boost their own low self-esteem. Let me give you an example: Marilyn met a "hot guy" on a singles cruise, and the pair became inseparable for the week. When they returned home, they spoke to each other constantly. He sent her a plane ticket to visit him. While together, Hot Guy boasted that he was his town's "go-to" guy for all the lonely women. Instead of Marilyn reading that as a sign to stay away, she interpreted his description of himself as "cute."

Visiting her two weeks later, he said he was available throughout the week—except for a lunch date he had with a woman he had just met. Marilyn found that peculiar, but said nothing. After a dinner party, he detailed how many women had come on to him. Marilyn began feeling disrespected and put down. Finally, after crying herself to sleep, she told Hot Guy he was too hot for her.

If a partner boasts how in demand he or she is, recognize how insecure he or she really is—and steer clear. This person probably needs more ego-stroking than any one person can provide... and will look where he or she has to in order to find it.

So now you know the signs that indicate that maybe your sweetie isn't such a sweetie after all. Life and love are all about learning. Remember this Gilda-Gram: "Everyone who touches you, teaches you." Instead of getting bummed out about a cheater who stole your heart, think of what you learned, and how your experience got you to grow. Your new insight will arm you to attract someone more trustworthy in the future.

Relationship expert Dr. Gilda (www.DrGilda.com) has a private practice, is a motivational speaker, and is associate professor of business, psychology, and communications at New York's Mercy College. She is also the founder of the video blog, GildaVision, on her web site. Her best-selling books include Don't Bet on the Prince! How to Have the Man You Want by Betting On Yourself and He's Not All That! How to Attract the Good Guys.