What is Friendship?

Back from an intermittent exile, here I am. First of all, let me wish all you readers out there a very happy friendship day. No matter which part of the world you belong to, today is the day to glorify friendship! If everyone could have regarded everyone as friends, the world would have been a different place to live in - no quarrels, no fights, no wars, no bloodshed... think about it!
That has been my dream for so long now, and yet to be realized and I am not sure, if ever that will be realized. *sigh*

Never mind , I thought what constitutes friendship. Is it about mutual trust and respect? Is it about alliance? partnership? In a recent study on friends and best friends, this is what Professor Kuezban had to say with respect to the newly coined Alliance Hypothesis for Human Friendship

"Friendships are about alliances. We live in a world where conflict can arise and allies must be in position beforehand. This new hypothesis takes into account how we value those alliances. In a way, one of the main predictors of friendship is the value of the alliance. The value of an ally, or friend, drops with every additional alliance they must make, so the best alliance is one in which your ally ranks you above everyone else as well."

The study also revealed that our mind subconsciously reads what our prospective partner (read friend) thinks about us. So, if we consider someone as our best friend, inherently we want to know if it is the other way round. So, a sort of mutual alliance is set up.

As per wikipedia, there are so many dimensions of friendships today, some of which are:

• Soulmate - This is the ultimate form. Soulmates, sort of, die for each other. The ideal friendship - rarely found these days. Tell me people, do you have a friend who could die for you (I am not talking about love), or you could die for him(or her).
• Penpal - You write to me, I shall write to you. We will exchange ideas and thus, we will know each other better and gather knowledge. Remember the days of postcards and inland letters? ...and of newspaper advertisements asking for penfriends (or penpals) [in the pre-internet boom era]? Why- even the day before, I came across a newspaper advertisement looking for penfriends, so it is very much there today.
• Internet friendship - This is very much in place today. With hundreds of social networking sites, keeping in touch is really easy notwithstanding which part of the earth you belong to - only condition is you should have access to the internet. Some of the most popular networking sites today are Orkut, Facebook, Twitter, Zorpia, Fropper, Ning and Linkedin.
• Comrade - This is a term very much use by the leftists in West Bengal when they refer to fellow political party workers. Mainly used to denote an ally, someone with a similar objective. Also used in military to denote team spirit and high esteem.
• Casual relationship - This is considered to be a fling in the US. No expectations from either party - just for the sake of having a 'good time', whatever that means!
• Boston marriage - Same as the legalization of Indian Penal Code 377। Do I need to say more?
• Blood brother - Denotes blood relationships, , 'खून का रिश्ता' (in Hindi)
• Open relationship - A relationship where the partners are free to choose others for fulfilment of physical desires. When this happens in marriage, it is called "Open marriage".
• Roommate - The person who has lived with you at one point in time, generally in a hostel or a PG accommodation and do not share a family or romantic relationship.
• Imaginary friend - General imagery created by a child when he or she considers someone as a friend - could be a living (example: a butterfly) or a non-living object (example: a doll).
• Spiritual friendship - This refers to the kind of friendship with a higher purpose, as in Buddhist ideology. One of the friends can have more knowledge than the other and the relationship sweetens when the flow of knowledge enlightens both.
• Inter species friendship - This is so common. Millions of us have pets in their households - be it cats, dogs, cows, goats, sheeps or something as weird as a venomous snakes! But when the creatures stay with us for a long time, a kind of friendship develops. Personally I had a cat who lived for 5 years and I loved it. We would play in the evenings and I used to be thrilled with all its antics. I am sure, many of you must have had similar experiences.

So, the word FRIENDSHIP is vast and used in a very wide range of scenarios. There are also theories that suggest factors which have an effect on friendship, some of which are:

• Similarity - We instantaneously like people who are similar to us.
• Proximity - "Out of sight, out of mind" is much more than a mere phrase. So, seeing each other often counts in a BIG way!
• Reciprocity - This was discussed at the start. We tend to like people who like us and dislike those who dislike us.
• Beauty - Looks kill. So, if you are beautiful, if you are good looking, if you are handsome, you definitely have an edge in making friends. People would fall flat to your charisma without you trying too much.
• Competence - Last, but not the least: Nobody wants to make friends with idiots and duffers. So, if you have the skills, the competence, if you are sharp, demonstrate knowledge and intellect, there are hundreds who would be turned on!

Think about the people who are your friends (or whom you regard your friends). I am sure one or more of the above factors would be at play.

As the saying goes, "Great minds think alike", similarly, friendship develops among like minded individuals. You can probably empathize or sympathize with all. But while making friends, there would be more factors to count on. It's more than just a click on the button "Accept as a friend" on a social networking site!

Image source: http://www.quotesarcade.com/graphics/friendship

Golden Rules for Career Success by Richard Moran

Golden Rules for Career Success

Richard Moran

WORKING as a business consultant all over the world, I have discovered some basic career-related rules that everyone should know—but many don’t.

Business is made up of ambiguous victories and nebulous defeats. Claim them all as victories.

Keep track of what you do; someone is sure to ask.

Be comfortable around senior managers, or learn to fake it.

Never bring your boss a problem without some solution. You are getting paid to think, not to whine.

Long hours don’t mean anything; results count, not effort.

Write down ideas; they get lost, like good pens.

Always arrive at work 30 minutes before your boss.

Help other people network for jobs. You never know when your turn will come.

Don’t take days off sick—unless you are.

Assume no one can/will keep a secret.

Know when you do your best—morning, night, under pressure, relaxed; schedule and prioritize your work accordingly.

Treat everyone who works in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the cleaner or the managing director. Don’t ever be patronizing.

Never appear stressed in front of a client, a customer or your boss. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: In the course of human events, how important is this?

If you get the entrepreneurial urge, visit someone who has his own business. It may cure you.

Acknowledging someone else’s contribution will repay you doubly.

Career planning is an oxymoron. The most exciting opportunities tend to be unplanned.

Always choose to do what you’ll remember ten years from now.

The size of your office is not as important as the size of your pay cheque.

Understand what finished work looks like and deliver your work only when it is finished.

The person who spends all of his or her time is not hard-working; he or she is boring.

Know how to write business letters—including thank-you notes as well as proposals.

Never confuse a memo with reality. Most memos from the top are political fantasy.

Eliminate guilt. Don’t fiddle expenses, taxes or benefits, and don’t cheat colleagues.

Reorganizations mean that someone will lose his or her job. Get on the committee that will make the recommendations.

Job security does not exist.

Always have an answer to the question, “What would I do if I lost my job tomorrow?”

Go to the company Christmas party.

Don’t get drunk at the company Christmas party.

Avoid working at weekends. Work longer during the week if you have to.

The most successful people in business are interesting.

Sometimes you’ll be on a winning streak and everything will click; take maximum advantage. When the opposite is true, hold steady and wait it out.

Never in your life say, “It’s not my job.”

Be loyal to your career, your interests and yourself.

Understand the skills and abilities that set you apart. Use them whenever you have an opportunity.

People remember the end of the project. As they say in boxing, “Always finish stronger than you start.”