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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Are you gay?


Are you gay?
...I am not. If you are, then probably you are celebrating the recent Delhi High Court ruling in favor of you. But the verdict did not go down well with the religious leaders who have openly criticized the move and have issued statements banning the same and also referring to homosexuality as 'against the laws of nature'. Ah well, this had to happen.

The purpose of this post is not to support or not support the ruling, but to instigate a thought process among the readers regarding this. My question is: Is there a limit somewhere? Freedom of thought and expression is the order of the day. But does it never clash with the 'laws of nature'. My question is: How much is really permissible? Yes, one advantage of this ruling is: Definitely, there would be more awareness about AIDS. People who did not come out in the open for fear of stigma (or otherwise) would feel less deterred to come out now and speak about it. But, imagine the impact on the young toddlers. Take a look at the following conversation 10 years down the line among two kids aged 10 in school:

Ravi: Hi Dinesh. Did you fill up your parents names?
Dinesh: Yes, I did.
Ravi: Let me see. [After taking a look] Oh! wow.. Mr and Mr Saxena? Well, don't you have a mom? Both are dads?
Dinesh: Yes. They are married and are gay. See, I don't have a problem there. What's the issue!
Ravi: Oh come on! But Dinesh, is it really possible? Then we could be married as well! But I had heard, children come out only from women. So how did you take birth?
Dinesh:[thinking] I never thought about that. Okay, I shall ask them.

Well, this is going to happen, I tell you. Not so bad. Isn't it? What's wrong there? With artificial insemination and surrogate mothers, Dinesh had to arrive and he did. Now the impact on Ravi. See what he asks his dad after returning home.

Ravi's dad: Good evening Ravi.
Ravi: Good evening Dad.
Ravi's dad: So, how was you day in the school?
Ravi: It was good. Received chocolates from Chatterjee madam. And you know, I batted really well in the cricket game today, scoring 40 off just 25 balls.
Ravi's dad: That's great, son!
Ravi: [after a pause] Do you know Dinesh, dad?
Ravi's dad: Yes. That boy, who sits beside you? Tell me what's with him.
Ravi: [excited] You know both his parents are male!
Ravi's dad: [serious] How did you come to know about that?
Ravi: Dad, he was filling up a form today. Actually we all had to do. There I saw, he was writing Mr in both columns for parent names. I thought he had made a mistake and pointed it out. But he confirmed that his parents were gay.
Ravi's dad: Well.. son.. I don't think, you should sit with him. I would have a talk with your class teacher, if required.
Ravi: [sad expression] But why dad? He is the best friend of mine. And so helpful! The other day, he told me that he loves me.
Ravi's dad: [very angry] Shut up! If you talk about him again, I would give you a punch on your face! Do you understand me?
Ravi: [crying, leaves the room immediately]

My question to you, readers: Is Dinesh gay? Is Ravi gay?
Let me answer these myself. Probably not! But could be! Who knows!

Psychologists say, the gay behavior is implanted right from birth and cannot be implanted or influenced. The way a normal man sees (or thinks about) a woman, a gay man sees (and thinks about) another man in the same light. So, if Dinesh and Ravi are not inherently gay, you can expect them to lead a normal life.

But my point is: They are only 10 years old. A child is like a mould of clay. He/she takes the shape and size as per their surroundings, their environment. They have a very impressionable mind. So, if Dinesh notices 'everything' since his birth, it is quite possible that he may try to emulate his parents, although, inherently he may not have the qualities. About Ravi, well, he would probably be guided by his parents and would lead a normal life, until and unless, he has it in him inherently.

The situation is already complex. Think about it!

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free bird said...

coming to a conclusion seems to be a tough task...
I agree to the second point but first point is equally valid (consequence of the verdict)!!!

Chiranjib said...

@ free bird
yes... and oh! I forgot to thank you for suggesting this topic...

oorjas said...

good i wrote my pot before i saw yours... otherwise i wouldn't / couldn't have.. :-D

i think it can't be moulded into anyone. it is a natural instinct. so it will not be influenced by the parent's preference..

it may cause discomfort (mentally) but can't alter natural urge.

Chiranjib said...

@ oorjas
yes, basically it is a personal take. There are bound to be aberrations. There, indeed, are pros and cons of this ruling. And it invites for an open debate. One cannot take sides in seconds.

oorjas said...

hey i am being directed to some 'Mega bible building site' when i try to get to your site from the comments.

but the blogroll brings me here.

pls check..

Chiranjib said...

@ oorjas
well, could be an issue with my co.cc domain.
use the url: http://chiranjibmazumdar.blogspot.com

Ashwathy said...

ur conclusion is truly thought-provoking. on one hand, it may make life easier for homosexuals to tune into their instinct. but at the same time, it may confuse heterosexual children...
it depends on the approach adults around them have i guess...

Chiranjib said...

@ Ashwathy
Yes... that precisely was my point... decisions should not be taken on the go.. rather, we need to take all the pros and cons into consideration before we really talk about it and give our views.