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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Love actually?

Few hard truths about love:

Love rarely exists, whatever it is, is mostly attraction, adjustment! The person's background and family always plays a pivotal role while being selected or... whatever...

The choice of a person is affected by the primitive mating behavior. If we study the mating behavior of animals, then we would see, when they select potential partners, it is most essentially unconsciously based on the other's superiority in some form or the other. The mind is trained in that manner. Say, in many species of wild animals, the males have to fight fiercely for a single female and she selects the one who wins! It has a scientific basis as well, since she wants her offsprings to be healthy, thus avoiding a weak male. Clearly, selection based on superiority! In human beings also, the same type of behaviour is observed. If we start liking someone, believe me, there is something in him/her that others lack, clearly a selection based on his/her superiority (over others)! Human society is evolved over millions of years, though males do not have to literally fight nowadays to win over a female, but the rules of the game are unchanged and do not vary markedly from other species. Another striking feature is, this trait of selection is particularly more prominent in girls than boys.So next time you get to hear stuffs like: "It was love at first sight", think about it!

It is very true that our brain is able to process an individuality of a person in the first two minutes of meeting each other. The body language gives in, and 80% of the notion is created then and there. The rest 20% notion is made or altered in subsequent meetings. But it is never Bollywood styled "pehli nazar mein..." love!
You might argue, "So what about the people who have been living happily for 20 odd years?"

My answer would be, "Yes, affecton develops over a time period. It does not happen overnight. What is being discussed here is love 'as we know it today'. A 'Harry met Sally' sort of affair!"

In a deeper context, love is a strong affection for someone, which is experienced and which is not bound by limitations of age, caste, creed, status, background, looks, wealth or whatever. But you see, it is non-existent in today's socio-cultural scenario. What we often think mistakenly as love is actually a liking, a crush and that too with a "conditions apply" tag!

PS. I am sure that I have already spurred a heated debate among people about what I have said, but these are my views based on experience as well as what I have studied till now on human behaviour and psychology. Any and every views are welcome!

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