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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Love and Friendship

“Friendship may, and often does, grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship.”
-- Lord Byron.

The reason I quoted this is, I often get to hear people commenting on couples broken up as... "They could have continued as friends." or, "Friendship is bigger than love" or like RJ Arvind went on air the other day, saying, "Who said love cannot turn into friendship?"

Well, it's all very debatable. It may be possible for some, not for others.

Essentially whenever a person falls in love and then out of it, a void is created instantaneously. The human mind immediately tries to fill the void with whatever is available at hand. If it really gets filled up, well and good. In that scenario, it is possible for the old love to turn into friendship. This is a good instance, as whatever pain had been there, is slowly minimized and may even become null and void at one point in time.

In another scenario also, this is possible. Suppose, if the person is hurt the first time around and he/she gets hurt even more the second time, it becomes easier to forget and forgive the first instance. Because now, the latest instance assumes a bigger proportion and the older problem seems lesser of an issue. However, this is an unfortunate instance in the sense that, here, the sorrow remains. It only transforms or to some extent gets distributed from one object to another.

The Lord had considered the quotation in only one light, where the unlucky person had none else to look forward to in the event of a break-up. It was logical as well in the sense that, society was not as open, as it is today. Love itself was sort of a taboo. And there were more boundaries than what was visible with the naked eye. But, in today's scenario, probably love can turn into friendship if the will and intention are in the right places.

But all said and done, there are very few people who have been able to prove Lord Byron wrong! Readers, what's your take on this? What do you think?

Image source: www.zorpia.com

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rhapsodicobjectivity said...

Hey.. A good topic and a better post. I completely agree with you. The last two breakups I've had, both the guys ended up saying, "Can we be friends?"

And All i could say was that "the love is too much to be restrained to friendship now." m glad to see that there are other people who think like i do too.. :)

Chiranjib said...


Hey thanks, hope!
Proving the Lord wrong is really difficult. And you are in elite company! :D

oorjas said...

OMG where was i all these days..(busy in office) and how many i have missed...(many) i am reading all of them and only commenting here..

nice snaps.. of rain and plants and the night sky and the shadows.

why so pessimisic..?

love birds love birds everywhere.. nor any bush to hide...!

netaji kahin...! :-)

as Jesse from 'Full House' used to say - "friends is what you are fored to become if you can't be lovers."

i feel both are possible. we fall into love so we can fall out of love too. but if we still like the person enough we can be friends.

not all love ends with a bitter taste. mature seperation decision can easily make way for friendship.

and if it did end on a bad note then we better leave frienship alone.. and move on.

BlowHotBlowCold said...

Strong argument!

Chiranjib said...


Nope... It's not about me... it's in general... and pessimism is a way of life and not bad considering scenarios when you have been expecting a lot and losing out every time.
Regarding your last comment, well, I can't agree more... :D


Hey, welcome to my blog!
And thanks!!! :)

Ketan said...


Interesting topic that you chose.

I find the second situation (another heartbreak resulting in acceptance of first lover as friend) more plausible.

Take care.

Chiranjib said...


Welcome to my blog, friend...

Yes, I know... :D But, it depends...

Come back again... take care.. :)